The "Real" Magicman...

     TJ was born in 1918 to Gertrude Gonzapolis and Henry Ford. He had a very lonely childhood living in the very rural town of Bangor Maine. Life was horrible because of his poor living conditions. TJ was tied to a tree down the street from a local pharmacy where he would nibble on roots, bark and leaves to gain nutrition. There were times when Artimus Kingston, owner of Kingston Pharmacy, would give TJ a ration of Campbell’s tomato soup to keep him from starving to death.

 

     One day while TJ’s father was pondering about the internal combustion engine, He was flabbergasted by TJ’s uncanny ability to move three empty Campbell’s cups around in a fluent and deceiving fashion. Henry and Gertrude quickly gathered TJ up on horseback and rode to the beautiful town of Greenfield Township, Michigan. Many people believe that this was the springboard into TJ’s world renowned magic career. While his father and Gertrude were devoting their lives to assembly lines and combustion engines, TJ snuck off one night with his Campbell’s cans by his side. He literally walked nonstop through Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, and finally he rested on the street corner by Artimus Kingston’s Pharmacy.

 

     TJ soon began conjuring the townsfolk with his his amazing prestidigitation. Soon he made enough money to buy meals and even clothe himself with rags. One day, a sharp eyed vagabond offered TJ a priceless futuristic piece of equipment if he could fool him. In an unbelievable event, TJ walked away a winner and was awarded a 1985 DeLorean. This was flabbergasting to TJ since it was only the year 1920. It had wheels, doors, seats, and a Flux Capacitor. TJ immediately jumped in and thanked the vagabond for being a true sportsman. TJ pressed the pedal, gassed to about 88 miles per hour and soon was in a city called Pittsburgh Pennsylvania.

 

     He was instantly turned off by their ruthless food combinations of french fries and coleslaw on sandwiches, although anything was better than the roots and bark he was grubbing on in the past. He set up shop immediately in a place called the "strip district", gaining himself the respect he deserves. Although he only knows one trick, the Campbells soup Cups and Balls, TJ continues to wander the city and amaze people with his Magical abilities. 

"  The Nation's Favorite Comedian & Magician!  "